The Chew-nami Strikes
Your puppy will chew everything. Shoes? Gone. Phone charger? History. That one fancy throw pillow you bought on sale? A shredded masterpiece. The key is not to stop them (you can’t), but to redirect them. Invest in indestructible toys, and remember: the couch was never meant to last forever anyway.
The Floor Is Lava (and Sometimes Pee)
Potty training is an endurance sport. Just when you think you’ve nailed it, they’ll surprise you with a puddle in the one spot you weren’t looking. Pro tip: keep a roll of paper towels in every room, and invest in a mop. Your hardwood floors will forgive you. Eventually.
Barkonomics: The Economy of Treats
Puppies don’t work for free—they demand treats. Training becomes a high-stakes game of “Will Work for Snacks,” where you’re the desperate employer, and they’re the reluctant intern. Don’t skimp on the good stuff, or they’ll unionize (read: start ignoring you entirely).
Snuggle Tax: The Ultimate Perk
Just when you’re at your wit’s end, they’ll curl up on your lap, sigh like the weight of the world is on their tiny shoulders, and fall asleep. And in that moment, you’ll forget the destroyed shoes, the midnight barking, and the mysterious wet spot on the rug. They’ve won. Again.